Marriage on the Rocks (How rock climbing and marriage go together)

This past weekend I was able to lead a Better Together Couples Adventure for four couples through Rocks to Rivers. It was nothing short of epic.

You may be thinking, what does rock climbing have to do with marriage? Well…everything.

For instance, when you rock climb it is essential that you communicate clearly, stay attuned, and experience trust. Obviously, the same can be said for marriage. In fact, I would say that some of the most essential elements of a healthy marriage are front-and-center when you go climbing.

Climbing together on Boy Scout wall.

One of my favorite moments this weekend came when couples climbed knob wall together at night. We gave them three rules:
1. That they could only climb as high on the 95 foot rock face as they could go together
2. That they needed to stay relatively parallel to each other as they went
3. That they needed to stay in communication with each other as they climbed

All of the couples who attempted made it to the top, which is no small feat. Typically on our men’s adventures we have quite a few who come down when they are about half way up.

Knob wall in the daylight

Now, we could have taught these couples about pacing, attunement, and communication….maybe given them a worksheet, and sent them home away. But how much more powerful it was to watch them get 50 feet off the ground, struggle to find their next hold, and have their spouse lean out on the rock face to help give them a little extra light and encouragement. It was really unbelievable to see them overcome obstacles together, that they very well may not have been able to overcome on their own.

We really are better together when we choose to trust, stay attuned, and clearly communicate.

The next highlight came when we sat around the campfire and played 2 truths and a lie. Needless to say, my face hurt from laughing so hard. To just be together after a long day of trying hard climbs, failing and falling, and being okay with the failures and falls, was so good for the soul.

I walked away from this weekend so encouraged in my own marriage by the experience of seeing other couples work together towards a better relationship: building on their strengths (which often feel like frustrations), staying attuned/connected, and choosing to trust within experiences of trustworthiness.

I can’t wait until next time…